As I’m sitting here in Target, my thirteen year old, Rebecca is trying on her first bikini and all I can think is “Wow. No one prepared me for this.”
.
Tonight Rebecca graduates from middle school. I know what you are thinking, “Big deal, it’s just 8th grade.” Insert exaggerated eye roll. And I would be lying if I probably thought the same thing last year, when it wasn’t my child.
But now. Now I’m sitting here with a flood of emotions that no one prepared me for.
You see I felt somewhat prepared for breastfeeding, crib types, diapers, and CPR. I felt prepared for childcare options, Gymboree classes, and the importance of reading to Rebecca before she was born. I read What to Expect When You are Expecting 3 times and devoured every child magazine article in the grocery store aisle and library.
But no one prepared me for the sheer joy and heartache that comes with parenting or approaching milestones that mark that the end of your child being in your home is quickly approaching.
No one prepared me to be a single parent before Rebecca was even born.
No one prepared me for having to work full time with an infant when my dreams were to stay home and raise her.
No one prepared me for dating and being overprotective of introducing a little one to a stranger.
No one prepared me for one of those strangers, Jeff to fall in love with me and Rebecca and love her as his own.
No one prepared me for my stomach sinking when Rebecca drove away with her biological father for a week. An entire week.
No one prepared me for a shy child.
No one prepared me for cancer.
No one prepared me for the words and tears when Jeff said, “Jenny, please fight. If you die, I will lose you and Rebecca.”
No one prepared me for hitting my knees pleading to live long enough to see Rebecca grow up with her brother and sister.
No one prepared me for a child who crawled into a shell after cancer. Shy was taken to an entire new level.
No one prepared me for a child who didn’t want to play sports as she would miss half the games when visiting her father 2 hours away every other weekend. She didn’t want to let anyone down by missing games.
No one prepared me for how happy I would be to see my children love one another.
No one prepared me for the hours of homework help Jeff and I assisted her with in elementary school.
No one prepared me for the day when Rebecca said she wanted to play volleyball. Ecstatic.
No one prepared me for her sitting on the bench.
No one prepared me for how Rebecca would soon blossom.
No one prepared me for her asking to run for school Vice President. “Really?” was my response, followed by the largest smile in the world.
No one prepared me for her winning after giving a speech to the entire student body.
No one prepared me how it truly takes a village to raise a child. Her teachers adore her.
No one prepared me for her refusing our help with homework and then inducted into the National Junior Honor Society.
No one prepared me for her asking to switch to sports and start swimming.
No one prepared me for her to show a competitive edge in the swimming pool. Shocking is an understatement.
No one prepared me for how much I would grow to love her friends and enjoy their successes, too.
No one prepared me for how satisfying it would feel when she confided in me who she fancies.
No one prepared me for the depth of how loyal she would become. Her friends trust her immeasurably.
No one prepared me for the answered prayers and the beautiful young woman that she has become.
And now I’m back to watching her try on the bikinis and wishing I had her figure. And completely understand now why waterproof mascara was invented.
And to think, I get to experience this 3 more times. Lord help me.
Blessings sweet friends – Jenny
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Comments
Heather
What a beautiful young lady you have there?! As a mom of two girls (age 6 and 3), I have tears in my eyes, thinking that my time is coming.
Jenny, thank you for sharing your blog and your life with your blog readers. I love your perspective on life and parenting….you have such a way with words.
I hope you have a great day!
Jenny
Thank you Heather. I’m not a fan of cliches but time does indeed fly by. As I’m sitting here with Sam watching Mickey Mouse Club House, I’m reminded that I will blink and she will be graduating as well.
Enjoy your little ones. Such precious ages.
Marna
I had some similar emotions last night while attending the senior class award night, realizing Jonathan would be on stage for that in just one short year! You and Jeff have raised a beautiful daughter inside and out! Congratulations on your graduation, Rebecca!
Jenny
Indeed. Jeff and I were talking about my cousins, Taylor and Lexi, and our kids last night. We couldn’t be any more proud of all of them.
Karen Moore
LOVE this post!!! Rebecca is simply lovely. Thank you for your “look back” … it brought up so many memories of my life!
I’ve got one for you in your future … no one prepares you for how much you instantly love and adore your first grandchild (and second)! Having my babies (now 26 and 23) was wonderful but when they had their babies … oh my! It’s beyond description!
Ya know, evey new blog post from you is like getting a letter in the mail from a dear friend! XOXOXO
Jenny
I can only imagine how much I will gush and melt at my first grandchild. Although today is throwing me for a loop, so I’m not ready for it quite yet.
Thank you for the compliment. I just try to write as if I’m writing a letter. Not always perfect, but definitely from the heart. Thank you Karen.
Dana
What a perfect description, Karen. Jenny’s blog posts are exactly like getting a letter from a friend. <3
Jenny
Thank you Dana. You and Karen have always been so good to me. I’ve enjoyed this blog as I’ve been trying to navigate this crazy, but good life I have.
Thank you for your continued encouragement.
Nikki
Ahh, I like that description too. I look forward to reading this blog more and more. And, Jenny, your daughter is beautiful. Just like her mama
Jenny
Rebecca was stunning at her graduation. A dad of one of the graduates mentioned how beautiful she was, but that she was one of the few girls who he would be thrilled if his son brought home in the years ahead.
I was touched but then terrified at the thought at the same time. Wasn’t prepared for that either. Thanks Nikki.
Karen
WOW! Now I am crying too! How true is all of what you say. As a mom, our treasures are uncountable but the pot of gold we have in our children is so very deep. I can’t believe that the girls are going to High School next year. They have turned into incredible adults. Thanks for the thoughts. I knew there was just something going on, but couldn’t put my finger on it. My child is hitting yet another milestone. I am so proud of her and Rebecca.
Jenny
As Sierra, Meg, and Mary walked across the stage, I had so many camping and craft memories just flood my mind from my days as their Girl Scout leader.
Stephanie has grown up to such a fine young lady. These girls are going to go far. We’ve done a good job.
SHERRY
“No one prepared me for the words and tears when Jeff said, “Jenny, please fight. If you die, I will lose you and Rebecca”
this one made me loose it!!
Jenny
I remember those words, but took me years to be able to talk about them. But I remember the rush of adrenaline that flowed through me that made me want to fight like crazy to survive.
And I lose it every time I think or write about them.
Marilyn Johnson
Beautiful post Jenny! Rebecca is very lucky to have you as a Mom. Some day she will cherish this reading this over and over.
Jenny
I’m thinking of making bound books from my blog posts that separate posts with each kid so that they have a copy. Looking into that.
I know she will appreciate it one day, when she gets off Facebook.
Colleen
Very beautiful. My baby graduates from pre-k tomorrow. Since I am 45,he is the last. He is so excited and I am so happy for him but sad for me. My oldest starts middle school next fall. A whole new world all around. Thank you for sharing what we moms feel so eloquently. Your daughter is beautiful and sounds like a wonderful person.
Jenny
The age differences in our children is so similar and does make me realize how quickly they change. I’m certain that when Sam starts Kindergarten I will have heart palpitations.
But I’m thrilled at how wonderful Rebecca has become.
Lee Ann
My daughter graduated 8th grade last year, and I was in charge of the dinner/dance after the graduation. We had so much fun planning it, the favors, and the fun. She is about to finish her first year of high school, and it seems like just yesterday she was going to kindergarten. Enjoy!!!!!
Jenny
There’s so much truth to the “And I blinked and she grew up”. I really need to stop blinking. Although I’m excited about Rebecca’s future and the beautiful woman she has become.
Melissa
LOVE THIS! Love it! And I totally get it. My 8th grader graduates in 3 weeks. And my current “no one prepared me for …”? Shaving. No one prepared me for having to teach a teenage boy how to shave because his father is deployed to Afghanistan. It’s so overwhelming, I don’t even have words. Jenny, she is beautiful. SO beautiful. And though I don’t know her personally, I love her spirit. She absolutely SPARKLES!
Jenny
She indeed sparkles and she was stunning at graduation. She walked across the stage with such confidence and those that knew how painfully shy she was were just stunned.
As for shaving, I would have no clue where to begin. But I have a feeling that when your son grows up he will really appreciate your extra effort since your hubby is gone.
Thank you both for your service.
Jen Kinkade
Oh, sweet friend, how I have been where you are now. You are doing a great job. I was never more excited or scared when my oldest girl was a Senior and graduated. My heart certainly was not prepared at all to not see her face everyday or feel her absence at the dinner table. I get it. I really do. hugs. xo
Come on! not fair 
No one prepared me for when she told me, “Mom, I am going on a date with…”, and now she has a boyfriend
Jenny
Yes, I am so not ready for the boyfriend at the dinner table situations but I know that they are coming. The only thing making it easier is seeing what a terrific kid she has become, especially considering how hard I prayed for her.
Motherhood is so full of those awesome moments and those “not fair” moments. What a ride.
cathy stolze
This is very cool. It gave me flashbacks. Now my daughter is in college and no one prepared me for her getting a tattoo! haha Ahhhhhh!!! Then a couple weeks later, I rec’d a text that said, “Crazy, You are my absolute favorite person.” Hold on for the ride girlfriend!!! It’s quite a journey. Praise God!
Jenny
Cathy – That’s what I hope for. A text that says I’m her favorite person. That sums it all up. The tattoo scares the hell out of me, but I know the journey holds many unknowns.
Bring it on.
Suzanne E. Daly
Wonderful article! Especially the last two sentences!