Dearest Emily,
As I went into your parent teacher conference this morning, I knew what to expect.
“Emily is an amazing student.”
“She has the most beautiful handwriting.”
“I’ve only had to redirect her twice for reading her books during the math instruction. She gets lost in her reading.”
“Emily is very well liked. She has lots of friends.”
“Emily exceeded on all of her standardized tests.”
“Emily got all As but one B, an 89%, because she had one bad test.”
“Emily struggled with one assignment where no instructions were given, she just had to answer with her best guess. Emily sat there for 20 minutes because she didn’t want to write down a wrong answer on her paper. You know mom, she is a perfectionist.”
Oh my sweet girl…
You are a miniature version of myself. I am so blessed to have you and love you for everything you are. Not for what you do. I want you to enjoy life to the fullest. But there is something I want more for you than ever, which is hard for me to even type right now.
I want you to fail.
I want you to fail hard.
What better place for you to fail than at home where Dad, Rebecca, Ben, Samantha, and I can help pick you up? I don’t want you to idly sit by waiting for the right answer. The older I get, the more I realize that the right answer by society’s standards isn’t always the right one. Often the answer you discover for yourself is the right answer. And what is the right answer for you one day, might not be the right answer the next day.
So jump into the deep end with both feet and know that it’s ok to feel scared and bewildered, but that your risks will pay off. And if the water gets to be over your head, Dad and I will be there to pull you in to safety. But we are going to work hard to allow you to tread for a while. I believe that will be one of the greatest gifts your dad and I can offer.
I want you to color outside the lines. I want you to paint the world with a permanent marker. And leave your mark, even if others don’t appreciate your artwork.
I want you to love yourself and see yourself like your dad and I do. You are Emily, an 8 year old, full of life who will always be our favorite third child. You are a lover of cantaloupe, swimming, belly giggles, baking, and getting lost in a book. And that my sweet child, is more than enough.
Loving you always,
Mom
Comments
LatteJunkie
Wow! Your daughter sounds like a darling. And I can understand your desire for her to fail in a safe environment. It would be hard for her but even harder outside of your love…
Thank you so much for joining up with JBE, I truly enjoyed reading your letter.
LJ
Jenny
Thank you. Just Be Enough is just an amazing site. I just love the concept and the stellar, authentic community.
Galit Breen
Yes, this. I get this, know this, and know it well.
I love the photos that you added, and the transparency that you wrote this.
I love the color outside the lines- it’s perfect.
This is beautifully done. Truly.
Jenny
Transparency is often easy and difficult at the same time. I feel like I wrote this letter to Emily as well as myself. She truly is a miniature version of myself. Thank you so much for your words.
Kerry K.
Love it, Jenny. This letter will be for many perfectionists who are lucky enough to read your blog. I’ll reread it for myself and share it with Ryan. We need it. Keep it up! xo Kerry
Jenny
So much in common sweet friend. Being a perfectionist is hard work and often leaves me feeling heavy at the end of the day. Here’s to always being enough!
Elena Sonnino (@JustBeEnough)
I get this. So very much. Your words paint such a fantastic picture of your daughter—and of the love you have for her! Thank you so very much for linking up!
Jenny
Thanks Elena. I have been immeasurably blessed by your site and the community you have built with JBE. This was my favorite prompt. Blessings.
Julie
Wow. I found this post from your February Favorite post link and it made me cry as I read it. It is a beautiful message to a child. Your family is lucky to have one another. This is my favorite post so far… Thanks for inspiring every day.
Jenny
Thank you Julie. It’s one of my favorites and my parents’ favorite post as well. Emily is so much like me and as a parent I just want to rescue her from those lessons I learned the hard way, but unfortunately I know that is exactly how she needs to learn. I never imagined parenting would be so hard yet, so rewarding at the same time. And we are indeed blessed to have one another. Thanks Julie for reading and leaving this comment. It made my day as I read your nice note while waiting for Emily to swim at her meet. It was heartwarming. -J