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  • 3 phrases I wish to banish from my home

    The health care environment is filled with curse words. Whether it is a happy or a frustrating day, I often hear hundreds of curse words in one 12 hour shift. It’s not just my current unit or hospital either. I have worked in intensive care units, emergency rooms, or trauma departments for 17 years and have become somewhat desensitized after all this time. It often is a way to decompress in a very intense environment where tragedy and heart break can come rolling through the glass doors at any moment.

    Due to the way I was raised and a recent heavy conviction and rededication, I am working on eliminating them from my vocabulary. As like any habit, I am having withdrawals as I’m embarking on this new adventure.

    With having four children home for the summer I have challenged them to stop cursing too. No, they aren’t cursing by our societal standards, but they have started using three phrases that are now considered Meyerson curse words. And since I am withdrawing from my habit, I declared that the kids are joining me in rehab. That’s right, our home is currently in rehabilitation.
     

     
    Below are the three phrases currently banned from our home and excerpts from a letter I wrote to my kids this week:
     
    I am fine.
     
    Why are you fine? You are alive, healthy, blessed, spoiled, beautiful children with parents who love you. You never go to bed hungry, you have your own beds, you get an education, and you have the freedom to go to church without persecution. And if you have a lousy day, then say that! But still realize that you are great despite that feeling. So please answer with, “I’m great thank you, but I’m having a rather lousy day.” But don’t ever say you are fine, as that displays an attitude of ungratefulness.
     
    I am bored.
     
    At your fingertips are books, art supplies, TV, video games, legos, puzzles, friends, water park passes, zoo and science museum passes, and the great outdoors. Dad and I work hard to pay for your swimming and baseball activities and tournaments/meets. And most importantly, you have each other and your imaginations. Never will there be another time in your life where you can dare to explore the world with such little responsibility other than some simple household chores. Dream, explore, and live life fully my dear children. And never confuse silence and stillness with boredom. A great deal can be learned from sitting in those rare, uncomfortable moments of silence. Trust me when I say to learn how to savor those moments now as deep treasures and rich life lessons can be found in those moments.
     
    I am busy.
     
    Now that you are done being bored, you are now too busy? Busy is possibly the most over used phrase in our society today. Flee from it and remove it from your vocabulary. Our family should never be so busy that we are unable to serve one another or others that need us. If you are in the middle of an important activity or task, then explain that you are finishing up and then will be with your brother or sister within the next 10 minutes. Activities, routines, and even a great book are never more important than relationships. Please learn to give those you love your full attention as those are the people that will stand by you through the good, the bad, and the really ugly times in life. Dad and I promise to never be too busy for you four sweet souls either. Please forgive us for anytime that you have felt slighted because of your perception that we were too busy for you.

    And a warning Rebecca, Ben, Emily, and Sam: Please know that if you four choose to use these phrases, then excessive painful tickling will be involved. It won’t be pretty. Love you all to the moon and back – Mom

    Are there any phrases or words that make your skin crawl? Have you told your loved ones why those phrases bother you?

    Blessings sweet friends – Jenny


    13 Comments

    Comments

    Heather

    Love it!

    11 July 2012 at 3:05 am Reply
    Dana

    When my now 22 year old was 3 years old, he told me to “shut up”. I stopped in my tracks, felt a tingling down my spine & declared “shut up” a curse word in our house. 22 years later, my 3 children still do not utter these words. I explained that to me this phrase screams disrespect and translates to “I simply cannot listen to your opinion, it is wrong, uneducated and unwelcome”; or “you are insignificant so be quiet and sit in a corner”. If other children came to our house & used the phrase, they were quickly told by my brave three that we didn’t allow that to be said in our home. I love your explanations, Jenny…especially to “I’m bored”.

    11 July 2012 at 5:07 am Reply
    Michaela

    So fantastic! Absolutely love it!

    11 July 2012 at 6:50 am Reply
    Colleen

    Love this post. My mother always says that only boring people say “I’m bored”. This morning my five year old said it in a movie theater during our community’s free movie. Yes, I agree that Kung Fu Panda 2 was not the best but to say he was bored when surrounded by all his friends (and movie popcorn) boggled my mind. My other “curse” word is stupid. I cringe whenever my 11 year old says it. Sometimes referring to an inanimate object and sometimes referring to his little brother. I think I’m following your lead and banning the word.

    11 July 2012 at 11:46 am Reply
    Tisha

    We don’t use stupid or shut up. We also do not differentiate by race. For example- the black lady over there. We would say the lady in the red shirt. I live in AL so sometimes that is hard with some of the people you encounter who have a narrow minded way of thinking. I want my kids to see people as people, not colors.

    11 July 2012 at 2:39 pm Reply
    Gayletrini

    I love this… I am bored has been outlawed in our house for years now. I also don’t tolerate I am too stupid and I don’t care.

    11 July 2012 at 3:14 pm Reply
    Tara

    Shut-up and stupid are banned from our home too. The other one is “hate”. We do not talk about hating people or activities. Even when reading a book my kids remind me that it is a bad word in our home.

    11 July 2012 at 4:51 pm Reply
    Melissa

    UGH! I HATE the “I am fine” response. Freakin’ hate it.

    11 July 2012 at 8:18 pm Reply
    Melissa

    Oh, and our “don’t say this phrase” is “I don’t care”. Sometimes I am the worst abuser of this. Hangs head in shame.

    11 July 2012 at 8:19 pm Reply
    Amanda S.

    I so needed to read this today. Thank you for sharing this!!! LOVE it!!

    11 July 2012 at 10:52 pm Reply
    Cindy deRosier

    This is awesome. Thank you. One that I don’t tolerate is “Whatever.” I hate when people say that, as it is often used as “You are wrong but I’m tired of arguing with you.” In the (rare) case that it’s used as “I truly don’t care either way” I’d prefer someone say, “You can pick” or “Surprise me!”

    12 July 2012 at 6:15 am Reply
    Lisa Muniz

    I also do not like to hear “I’m bored”, but my least favorite is “That’s(it’s) not fair!” That is a 4 letter word in my home. Fairness is impossible to achieve. My kiddos are learning not to say that little phrase anymore.

    16 July 2012 at 11:14 am Reply
    Betsy

    When someone in my house says they are bored my response is “Great! Everyone needs to be bored, that is how you get creative!”

    I am the one who says “I’m fine” when I am not so banning that would out me-I am not doing it.

    Jenny-you haven’t posted in for a bit-I hope things are okay with you and your family.

    17 July 2012 at 2:34 pm Reply

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