When I started this blog, I had lost a part of my identity. I was consumed with full time work and being Jeff’s wife. I was referred to as Rebecca’s mom for almost 2 years by one lady at our school, before I finally said, “You can call me Jenny.” I’m sure every wife and mom can relate to this at some point in their journey. I had to sit down and remind myself what I liked and what excited me that wasn’t related to Jeff or the kids.
But in my planning for 2012, I went to the opposite extreme of planning without taking into consideration what the dreams of the other 5 people in my family wanted. Don’t get me wrong, most of my items include them, but looking back I don’t know if I really asked them.
I’m thrilled to be Jeff’s wife and a mom to Rebecca, Ben, Emily, and Samantha. I want to see my dreams come true, but I also want to encourage Jeff and the kids to chase their dreams as well. I want to make sure they see that I seek to find that balance between holding onto my self identity and my cherished roles as their wife and mom.
In making my life list, we have started talking a lot more about dreams in our house. And this weekend at their big 3 day swim meet, we have been talking about our dreams. When we started sharing, I found myself a tad shell shocked. I learned so much in just getting Jeff and the kids to tell me 5 life list items. Just 5.
I found out that Jeff misses golf and regrets not trying to pursue professional golf longer. I learned that Rebecca wants to meet Foster the People. I had no clue who this group was, let alone that she liked them enough for them to be #1 on her life list. Emily wants to learn how to play lacrosse, Ben wants to go whale watching in Hawaii, and to no surprise, Miss Samantha wants to go see Mickey Mouse again.
Here are their lists…
Jeff
Play in the Pebble Beach ProAm golf tournament
Want to get really good at golf again
Learn to really cook (not bake)
Go to Machu Picchu
Learn how to play the guitar
Rebecca
Meet Foster the People backstage at a concert
Buy a massage chair
Learn to speak Spanish
Visit Ireland
Make Indian Fry bread with mom
Ben
Visit Costa Rica
Go whale watching in Hawaii
Watch an NBA game with courtside seats
Go to every Cardinals game in a season
Take basketball camp at the University of Arizona
Meet Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald
Emily
Go to Olympics as a spectator and as a swimmer
Meet new friends from all over the world and make pen pals
Learn how to play lacrosse
Be in a triathlon
Visit Canada
Meet Taylor Swift
Sam
Go see Mickey Mouse again
Play playdoh
Go to the park and blow bubbles
Feed the giraffes at the zoo
Bake with mom
Just by speaking our dreams out loud as a family, I learned more about the people that I share a house and life with. Some of these items were no surprise, but others I was completely and pleasantly surprised. And I find myself wanting them to experience these things as much, if not more than, some of my 1300+ items. And isn’t that the way a family is supposed to work?
So today I’m looking at a grander, bigger picture. I am continuing on my path to complete my 1300+ items on my list. But I am also excited to see Rebecca’s face when she meets Foster the People or Ben’s face when he sees a whale come to the surface of the water in Hawaii. How are we going to afford this or make it happen? I honestly have no clue. But it’s gonna happen. Again, I’m looking for that wonderful combination of determination and magic. Bring on the magic.
Blessings sweet friends – Jenny
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Comments
MaryAnn
you just made my heart smile….again!
Your MOM
This is your BEST blog yet! This blog warmed my heart in a BIG way. Tell Samantha to come see me and I will do playdoh with her and do all the bubbles and feeding of giraffes that
she wants to do. Love you all. Your MOM
Jenny
Thanks Mom. Samantha is all packed up and on her way!
Jenny
Thanks MaryAnn! It was a fantastic weekend at the swim meet getting to know more about my husband and kids. Family talks need to happen more often!
Mikki
It is so beautiful that you can now share this journey with your family. I admire your journey so much. I know it has been an inspiration to myself and my family as well. Each week I printed out your Write A Life List for my mom (whom refuses to use a computer) and she was SO inspired!
Question: What dialogue did you use or do you have any suggestion on how to get little one’s to write a life list?
My daughter is 4 years old and I would love to see her dreams comes true!
Jenny
That is terrific! I hope your mom gets a lot out of the Writing Your Life List Series. I really enjoyed going through it again and I find new sources of inspiration and added to my list. I think I might go through the process every 6 to 12 months, at least Part I.
The dialogue has been ongoing the past couple of months since I started this blog. At first, my kids looked at me like I was an alien, but since they have seen me start checking things off my life list, they started to become more intrigued. Words like dreams, dreaming big, life list, think bigger, “if you could do anything”, “if you could go anywhere”, “if you could be anything” – those have all helped. I think frequent talks are more important than certain phrases/dialogue if that makes sense.
After some time, the kids have seen that I’m serious and that I’m genuinely interested in their dreams. And they have also been on the receiving end of some of my life list items, like Disneyland and making homemade donuts. So they see the excitement and benefits to dreams coming true. Hope that helps. I’ll talk more about it, in posts to come. – J
Christy
This is one of my favorite posts you’ve ever written!
Jenny
Thanks Christy! You are about one of 5 people (including my mom) that have written or called to tell me the same thing. So glad you enjoyed it. -J
Jaime
Love this post, Jenny! And being a Canadian, I think it’s great that Emily’s life list includes a visit to Canada. No shortage of wonderful things to see in our great country!
This year, we started a new tradition with our kids. Starting with this year, we have a sit down after Christmas just before the New Year arrives and each pick our top three activities (since we have two children, it worked out to three each) that we wanted to do as a family. We made the list of twelve items so that we have an activity to choose each month. It was my husband’s idea and he also writes in a journal about the day/activity/adventure so that we can document it not only with photos but words. It was great (and surprising) to hear some of their ideas — some were things I would have never thought of but are important to them. Life is good.
Sarah
Another Canadian here!! LOVE this idea. Going to add it to my life list for next year!!
Jenny
Jaime – I love this idea – kudos to your husbnd. Love that your kids are involved in choosing the activities and I LOVE the fact that your husband is involved and journaling about the activities. That journal will be a treasure to keep forever.
And I was intrigued that Emily said she wanted to go to Canada. It was the first time she had ever mentioned it. Turns out she read a book in the library last year and has been wanting to go ever since. I loved her telling me about your country. It made me smile. Thanks Jaime for commenting and the wonderful idea. We will have to try this for sure!-J
Sarabeth
This is beautiful!!! May all your dreams come true!!! Thanks for sharing this inspiring list!!!
Jenny
Thanks Sarabeth. I really have been inspired by my kids’ dreams this week and really see a unique opportunity to show them how to strive to make their dreams come true. The possibilities in the near future make me smile. -J
Marilyn Johnson
Wonderful lists! I asked my husband and my son Kyle the same thing. (Jess is away at college and well, Kaleb-just starting to really talk in phrases). They wouldn’t tell me anything, just I don’t know. I think it takes each of us some time to realize it is OK and GOOD to say our dreams out loud. We are so scared someone will laugh or think we are crazy to think we could ever have those dreams. I am so happy that your family felt secure enough with each other to say their dreams! I am going to keep at mine-HA!
Jenny
Please do keep at them Marilyn. This was exactly my experience. I think what has helped is my example of accomplishing things on my list. They have seen the work and the joy and most importantly, that it is possible. I think we all have a fear of failure and that others will think we are crazy. I still feel that way at times. But with time, Jeff and the kids have opened up. So keep working on your list and keep the dialogue open. It will happen – I’m sure of it. -J
Heather
This is a GREAT idea! Every summer, I do a small version of this…the kids each pick out five things they want to do before school starts in the fall, and we try our best to complete each of their lists. I’m totally going to give them permission to write their BIG dreams down and make it a goal to pursue them.
So, who are Foster the People, anyway?
Jenny
My sister did the same thing you did with her girls last Summer. Julie made a wall chart and the kids enjoyed checking their fun activities off as they went. Excited to hear your kids Big dreams – it is amazing what their creative minds come up with!
And I’m still learning who Foster the People are. They sing a couple popular songs on the radio, but I’ve been googling them and trying to gather some information and look at tour dates, etc. I was absolutely clueless however. Thanks Heather!-J
Karen
Love this, especially that Sam wants to play play doh… priceless. I find that I want to steal one thing from each of their lists… I want to learn to play guitar (I still have the one my high school boyfriend gave me and have never learned to play),I want to learn to speak Spanish (beyond the basics I learned in high school and go to Ireland, I would like to watch the Olympics (just watch- not that ambitious) and would like to go see Mickey again. I will have to try this with my family and see what they come up with.
Jenny
I asked Sam “What do want to do that makes you happy?” When she smiled and said bubbles and playdoh, my heart just melted. It was so simple yet brought so much joy. I hope she is always like that. I hope you are able to do all five of those things Karen. I really believe it can happen. So glad to have reconnected with you and that you are living a full and abundant life. XO-J
Melissa
Love this! Thanks for sharing! What I really love is that ALL of your children have a Life List! I don’t have a “Life List”, but one of my dreams has always been to visit Ireland too! I found a great photography trip to Ireland with Ali Edwards in October this year. http://www.scrapmap.com/tours/ireland_0912.html
I can afford it, but I’m a big fat chicken when it comes to doing something like that on my own. None of my friends are available to go with me, so if I go, I have to go alone. I know it sounds silly or crazy, but that’s exactly what’s holding me back — the fear of going on that trip alone.
Sarah
Go for it!!! I signed up for a retreat Ali is doing – going by myself and am nervous and excited but always wanted to do something like that…but going to Ireland would be amazing!!
Jenny
Sarah – What retreat are you going to? I’m going to the Story Retreat in June. Is it that one perhaps?
Sarah
Yes, that one!! I am so excited you will be there too! Two inspiring people to meet off my life list
Jenny
Melissa – I don’t have the budget right now or I would go in an instant. I believe many people went with Ali and Karen to Greece by themselves and had a fabulous time. I would LOVE to go to Ireland with both of them. I adore both Ali and Karen. If you have the funds, let me nudge you into going. I would be shocked if you regretted it. Seize the day and enjoy all that green, lush countryside and those castles. I’ll stop now as I’m wiping the drool off my chin.
Really go for it Melissa. I don’t believe you have anything to lose. If I had the money, I’d join you in a split second. – Jenny
Melissa
The Story Retreat sounds fun too! But I’ll be in the middle of a move! Ugh! I’ll keep trying to talk myself into it, but Lordy, the fear of going on my first-ever overseas trip all alone is just scaring the bejeezus out of me!
Lisa Goren
This is great, Jenny
I am married with 3 boys… thanks for reminding me to think of their dreams too 
Jenny
Absolutely Lisa. Thank you for reading! And I’m excited to hear about your boys coming up with their own lists. You will be amazed by how big little kids can dream! Just loved this discovery. – Jenny
Lee Currie
Thank you so much for your endless inspiration: http://thelinarstudio.typepad.com/embracelife/2012/02/returning-to-me.html Happy Wednesday!
Jenny
You are so welcome Lee. And a thank you for this blogpost. Your words were beyond kind and I felt every word you wrote. So honest and powerful.
And for all you blog lurkers out there reading these comments, please link over to this post from Lee.
Gorgeous words! Thanks Lee. -J