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  • Lessons Learned – Champions expect to fail

    This is my daughter Emily. Emily is 8 years old and is our #3 of 4 children. Emily is a great kid. She excels at school, loves her friends, and has been swimming about 18 months. Emily swims at Phoenix Swim Club which is a year round swim team. In January, Emily was promoted to the next level, the Rising Stars and in the first week won Swimmer of the Week. At the end of the winter season she was awarded the Coaches Award for her dedication and passion. Emily was so surprised and excited when she got the award and was giddy when Coach Mo told her to make sure to get an extra long shelf because she was sure to be getting more of these.

     

    The awards seemed to fuel her love of swimming even more. She couldn’t wait to go to swim practice and started really showing a competitive side which we hadn’t seen much in her up to that point. She had just started swimming so she was use to large time drops every time she swam. So even if she didn’t win a ribbon, she was excited because she had a personal best time.

    Then came our first travel meet to Flagstaff. Emily dropped time in her first event which was the 50 Free. Then came the 50 Fly…

     

     

    Jeff and I commented how she looked tired from the start. All the times were quite bad, but her time was off by several seconds. And then she looked back at the clock…

     

     

    Then she looked directly at Jeff and I. I was glad I had my camera in front of my face. I knew she swam poorly but I didn’t think she got it. I was wrong. 

    Before and after each event, swimmers are supposed to go speak with their coaches. She stated, “That was horrible. Not only did I not qualify for regionals, but I worsened my time by a lot.” All I could think of was how does a little kid who is still under 50 pounds know about swimming qualifying times? But oh, did she know.  So off she went to speak to her coach.

     

     

    Jeff and I had no other children with us so I just shot tons of pictures. And to this day I am so glad that I captured this visual reminder of this lesson on my camera. Emily approached Coach Mo (whom she adores) and I could tell Emily’s voice was very quiet and almost cracking but I couldn’t hear. And then this happened…

     

     

    The tears flowed. And the vein in the side of her neck almost blew. But Coach Mo had some great words for her. And boy have they stuck with her. Coach Mo told her that she was a champion. And that champions don’t cry because they expect to fail at times. They will have bad swims and worsen times. But then they get back into the pool and work harder so that they improve the next time. Coach also asked her if she gave 100% effort and Emily told her yes. She told Emily that she has no problem as long as Emily gives 100% effort. If she didn’t give 100% then they would have to talk because then there would be a problem. Then Coach Mo reminded her that she chose her for the Coaches Award because she was a proven champion.

     

     

    Then Emily started catching her breath. And I wondered how the rest of the swims would go. And quite frankly, her times all worsened. She was still a little tearful but ended the meet with a trip over to a family restaurant/brewery with 2 other swim families. Great food and friends quickly changed her mood. But I wondered how she was going to deal with this. And Jeff and I talked at length how we wanted her focus to be on fun and her teammates as much as qualifying times at this age. I know all to well the consequences of burnout in swimming.

     

     

    And the next meet, Emily had fun. And in addition to fun, she qualified for her 2nd event for Regionals. She was going to be traveling to Tucson for her first Regional Tournament in the 50 and 100 back. She was beyond ecstatic and she kept telling us how hard she was working and she knew it would pay off. And she was right.

     

     

    Then time for Regionals came and we traveled to Tucson where almost 30 family members from both sides of our family came to cheer her on. Here is Emily with the proud mama.

     

     

    And the proud daddy. Very proud daddy I might say.

     

     

    And the big moment came. Her first event which was the 50 back. She was one of only 3 eight year olds swimming with the 10 and under girls. And she dropped 1.5 seconds off her time. Good swim love.

    Then the next event came and it was the 100 back. And with all her family cheering her on, in the middle of her event she did this…

     

     

    She looked over at my sister in the middle of the race and smiled. What?! At first I was bewildered and confused as this little fireball had become so competitive so quickly but then I was kind of excited in a strange way that she was showing her age. 8 years old. What a great time to be young and smile at your Aunt Juju. There is plenty of time to grow up. But then my focus switched to “How is she going to handle this?”

    She got out of the pool and said, “That was a horrible time.” I said, “Yes, but you did smile at your Aunt during your race.” And she smiled and I told her to go to talk to her Coach. She came back stating that Mo said “You know why I like you Emily? Because you want to get better and you work hard. You want to win.” And she had a grin, ear to ear.

    So the family started packing up and her cousin said, “How did you do Emily?” Emily stated, “Well I did great last night but my time was terrible this morning. But that’s ok. Champions sometimes fail.”

    And that my friends is a lesson learned for all of us. Champions often fail many times before they succeed. Wow- powerful stuff. And I am so excited that I have another future athlete coming behind Emily, Ben, and Rebecca. And she will learn from them all.

     

     


    21 Comments

    Comments

    art gramer

    you have given your child a gift most parents don’t/can’t, herself. she is learning because you let her be her rather than what you want her to be. congratulations. you have done well with God’s child.

    22 July 2011 at 9:40 am Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      Art- Thank you so much. Jeff and I try our best and have made plenty of mistakes. But we love our kids. This has been a great year for all of them. Thanks for stopping by.

      22 July 2011 at 8:59 pm Reply
    Another swim mom

    This is beautiful! Mo gave Emily an incredible lesson and it is wonderful to know that she passes that type of lesson on to every child all the time!

    22 July 2011 at 10:26 am Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      Absolutely. I know so many other parents and kids that have been blessed by Mo and Abby (and the other coaches). Very blessed indeed.

      22 July 2011 at 9:00 pm Reply
    Deb Coy-Cirillo

    Jenny, thanks for sharing this! This is a GREAT life lesson for us “older” kids!
    I am a competitive age group athlete. I have learned that sometimes we can really learn from the lessons that “youngsters” learn as well.
    Mo and Mark are such amazing coaches. They truly are passionate about what they do.
    And I think, from this blog anyway, that you are passionate about rearing your children and letting them find their passion(s). Great Work!

    22 July 2011 at 11:20 am Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      Thanks Deb. I’m planning on joining the Masters group at the end of August so I’ll be back in the pool after a 20 year hiatus. It will be an experience for sure. And you are so right, I learn more from my children every day. This year has served as a character growing year for both Emily and I. Thanks for stopping by and I look forward to meeting you.

      22 July 2011 at 9:05 pm Reply
    eric labas

    Regardless of results Emily produces in the water, that she is relentlessly high-spirited,cheerful and indeed special shows up on deck in every interaction I’ve had the pleasure of. The quality of her character–and that of her coaches and teammates– provide (needed) daily inspiration for supporting my daughter’s participation at PSC. And while that’s a big burden to place on tiny Emily’s shoulders, she handles it like the champ she is..

    22 July 2011 at 11:45 am Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      Eric- I don’t think that I could ask for a nicer compliment for one of my children. Thank you. Your kind words mean more to Jeff and I than I could ever express. I’m humbled. I will share your words with Emily. See you on deck!

      22 July 2011 at 9:07 pm Reply
    mark schwietz

    Jenny – This was simply beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing these life lessons. Pictures are indeed worth a 1000 words. Blessings on your family, one lap at a time.

    22 July 2011 at 5:11 pm Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      Mark- Thank you so much for your compliments. I absolutely love taking pictures and this is one of those rare moments when I was actually able to capture the story through pictures. And I will treasure them forever. Thanks also for sharing this article on Twitter. Blessings to you and your family as well.

      22 July 2011 at 9:08 pm Reply
    michael monaghan

    Jenny,
    Great story. Very inspiring!

    btw … how did you get the blog page set up? It looks great, and I’m just getting one started.
    Michael

    23 July 2011 at 8:17 am Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      Thanks Michael for your compliments. My blog is through wordpress. My husband and I had talked at length how I wanted it to look and he contacted a gentleman who designed it for a Mother’s Day gift. My suggestion is for you to look at different sites and write down what you like about them. You will start finding similarities. Then you can approach a web designer or better yet- a friend who has some skills. We had a designer. I’ll email you my designer’s contact information when I get home from vacation. Thanks again for stopping by.

      23 July 2011 at 8:43 am Reply
    Hannah Meyerson

    Beautifully said, Jenny! Emily is a very special girl, and we’re so proud of her! Having lived swimming with Jeff and Barrie for so many years, I wish they had had a coach that shared such important words of wisdom. It’s a life lesson that she learned from coach Mo! She’s a lucky girl to have learned it so early in life.

    23 July 2011 at 8:31 am Reply
    Jenny
    Jenny

    Thanks Hannah. Emily has been blessed with 3 great coaches in her short little career- Mo, Jennifer, and Abby. All three have had a positive effect on her. I had a great coach in high school after going through some not so stellar ones (as far as character was concerned). Coaches and teachers make a huge difference.

    23 July 2011 at 8:47 am Reply
    zhiliang cao

    This is a touching story. I have same feeling. My son was coached by Mo and then Abby more than one year. Before joining in PHX, he only swam at public summer team, but he was awarded two awards in his first season because of his dedication. Although he transferred to a local club (our home is 30 miles far to PHX), we never forget the rapid progress he made with Mo and Abby and every exciting moment they made.

    25 July 2011 at 11:21 am Reply
    Jenny
    Jenny

    We should all count ourselves blessed to have had so many wonderful experiences at Phoenix Swim Club. I wish that for every swimmer and athlete. Thanks for your kind words.

    25 July 2011 at 2:18 pm Reply
    JR Rosania

    Wonderful story. Thank you for loving with such Grace.

    25 July 2011 at 4:18 pm Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      Thanks JR. I am trying to offer as much grace to my children as possible. I’ve been granted such unmerited grace in my life and am incredibly blessed. I think we have some mutual friends that you go to church with- the Howlands and the Kindermans. Thanks for stopping by.

      25 July 2011 at 9:12 pm Reply
    Hull Family

    Jennny-Thanks for sharing this. We read it to the whole family…inspirational for us all! Great insights on Emily and Coach Mo. See you on deck! the Hulls

    26 July 2011 at 8:16 am Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      Thanks Brian and Judy. I’m glad your kids enjoyed it. Looking forward to short course season already. Our kids just love your children and Maggie is so encouraging to our girls! See you soon.

      26 July 2011 at 7:55 pm Reply
    stirling starr

    I know your daughter and she is absolutley amazing for her age I love her!
    Stirling Starr

    10 March 2012 at 6:43 pm Reply

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