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  • Detox

    Mom, You have a problem so listen up!
     

     
    While I was silent on this blog, I still spent plenty of time on other social media sites – possibly more than ever before. First thing in the morning, I would read a couple of my favorite blogs. I would check my personal Facebook site and respond to messages and ‘like’ the pictures and status updates of my friends from all walks of life. I’m a people pleaser and very easily pleased, so I tend to like pretty much everything. This has annoyed people because Facebook then decided to display your likes/comments for all the world to see.

    Before Facebook, I would have had my quiet time, write in my journal, and headed out the door to exercise before the kids woke up. Instead I’ve been more concerned with what a casual acquaintance has voiced about current events, parenting styles, or social injustices. I voiced that I was tired of reading about it on status updates, yet I continued to spend time clicking on links that only led to me being unproductive and ultimately frustrated at myself for wasting time. Political and religious debates have brought out the passion in people like never before. This spirit of the unknown and fear of the future that election years can bring only heightened the uneasy feeling in my stomach and soul.

    I love stories and seeing pictures of my friend’s families, but at what expense?

    Do I care more if you like my status this morning than sitting at the breakfast table coloring with Samantha?

    Do I care more about clicking on the shared link of another child being neglected or bullied than curling up on the couch and seeking to meet the needs of my own children?

    Do I really think you care if I didn’t receive enough ketchup packets from a drive thru? Yes, that was a very important status update from me.

    Do the status updates of my friend’s multiple vacations leave me with a spirit of comparison or am I content and grateful enough with what God has provided me?

    What if I asked one of my four kids a question about their life every time I was stopped at a red light instead of checking my notifications and messages on my phone?

    If I received an email from God saying He had a blog update for me, a specific word just for me, would I click on it as quickly as some of my favorite daily must reads?

    What difference could I have made this past year with the time that I wasted? What more could I have done or been?

    I could die tomorrow. So what legacy am I leaving behind?

    So I’m enrolling in detox. I won’t be checking my personal Facebook page until I’m 40. I’m taking a 383 day break. My guess is that my home, health, and soul will greatly benefit from this journey.

    Bottom line: Relationships take time and I have been wasteful of the time I have had this past year. I want to be more intentional with my time. Even if it is just to sit and be still.

    I want less of me.

    I want more of Him.

    I want more of them.
     

     

    Life is good and messy. Today I thank you for letting me throw my messy out on this blog.

    Blessings sweet friends,
    Jenny

    I believe this change will also allow me to be a better friend to you here. I desire to be timely in my responses and questions to you. And I value your friendship and I apologize to anyone that I have hurt in an untimely response. I will also continue the Learn with Jenny Facebook page to update when blog posts have been published and share positive links from my internet friends. You can also email me at jenny@jennymeyerson.com


    28 Comments

    Comments

    AMY

    Jenny,
    What a timely blog this was. I have felt the same about this lately too. While it is great to reconnect with friends and have a social media life, I too have felt I have been neglecting certain aspects of my life. I do, however, feel grateful I am connected. Here on the East coast, our area and our neighbors to the south of us have suffered greatly with the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. We here upstate NY were well prepared as a facebook site called Hudson Valley Weather kept us abreast of the impending storm. It also just got a fantastic write up in Forbes magazine. So yes, there are pros and cons to social media. I think we just need to find that balance and learn how to disconnect when we feel things are spiraling out of control. So, please keep blogging and I will keep following you (just not at stop lights though). FYI…at this time of year, we look back and ponder what we are thankful for. I am thankful I found your blog and have you in my life. You help put things in perspective.

    2 November 2012 at 11:47 am Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      I agree that there are many wonderful benefits to facebook and other social media sites including during times of disaster, notify a group of an illness/need for prayer, etc., and to simply connect with people that we otherwise wouldn’t keep up with (old high school pals, etc.)
      I’m not shutting off my account- just will be inactive. I am hoping that after being off it for a good length of time, that I will be able to reintroduce it into my life in a healthy dose.
      Thanks for your kind words – this community has been a treasure to me as well.

      2 November 2012 at 1:03 pm Reply
    staki mama

    I did the same thing, it has been a very long time since I was on facebook, where I spent a whole lot of time, an only one of my so called friends have called or text or emailed me. They aren’t friends. Why was I wasting my time? I have enjoyed Instagram, and made some new friends there from other sides of the world that I keep in contact with but I don’t ha e to see every post in the feed to feel part of the community. I have limited myself & don’t feel limited but liberated!

    2 November 2012 at 2:34 pm Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      I’m still in the detox phase so it feels completely foreign and I had to delete it from my phone, because I was in such a habit of just unnecessarily checking my account. And the silence does make you realize who your friends are – sobering lesson indeed. My kids have loved it so far and I left my phone at home all day today.

      4 November 2012 at 9:28 pm Reply
    Marc Rivkin

    Does this mean no more over the top cutie pie pics of my favorite cousin??????? WAHHHHHHHHHH

    2 November 2012 at 2:58 pm Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      No – it just means you need to direct message me your cell phone and I can text you pictures. I’m also on Instagram and I could also email you pictures. Sam is really stinking cute. :)

      4 November 2012 at 9:29 pm Reply
    Dree

    Just came across your blog via Becky Higgin’s blog looking at the 12 videos of Christmas. I too have removed myself from Facebook, actually it was the still small voice urging me to do so. Awesome post glad to know I’m not the only one detoxing facebook. Kinda felt alone out there.

    2 November 2012 at 3:05 pm Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      Dree- Glad you stopped by. Hope you find this community as great as I do. Really good readers, but I’m partial.
      You are not alone, although this transition off of facebook has made me feel lonely a bit if that makes sense. Although, I’m more convinced than ever that this was the best decision.

      4 November 2012 at 9:31 pm Reply
    Juls

    Happy detoxing. I’ve been cutting back. It’s nice.

    2 November 2012 at 4:23 pm Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      I feel like one of my patients having withdrawal symptoms :) I didn’t realize how hooked I was until I just clicked on it 10 times this weekend not even thinking about it – so I removed the app from my phone. Glad to hear it’s been a positive change for you!

      4 November 2012 at 9:34 pm Reply
    cathy stolze

    Moderation is the key to everything. I think I need a fb 12 step program. haha – Also, this Halloween candy needs to go!! I want to take care of my body and guard my time as well. Your words are so honest. It’s kinda like when your in church and you think God is talking through the pastor right at you. Thanks my friend. I needed an intervention. : )

    2 November 2012 at 7:02 pm Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      You know I love you, right? Could you imagine us both in rehab together? We would be such trouble makers.

      4 November 2012 at 9:36 pm Reply
    Stephanie

    Good for you!

    I spend almost no time on Facebook and don’t feel as though I am missing out on anything…and I have more time for my family and friends.

    I have been in Thailand for several weeks and have only checked email 3x. I have not missed it and have not really missed anything. It is a reminder that we all had lives before the internet and social media addiction.

    I love that I have met people like you because of the internet, but the internet and social media has become less and less important to me for purposes other than for business and connecting with a close circle of family, friends and colleagues. I’m trying to differentiate the “friends” from the “acquaintances” and focus more time and effort on the former.

    I look forward to seeing what you think of the “checking out” experience. Personally, I am loving it! :)

    Have a blessed and happy day,

    Steph

    2 November 2012 at 9:16 pm Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      Good to hear from you Steph! Completely agree – the break from twitter and now facebook has been needed for quite some time. I agree – I have met 10-15 people that I really love to stay connected to and hear from. But other than that, it seems very shallow and disconnected.
      I’m so happy to hear that this has led to positive changes for you. Really need this in my life although I’m still feeling the effects of the “immediate need to know about what’s going on”. I know this will place and really doesn’t matter at all. Glad you are home safe after your travels!

      4 November 2012 at 9:40 pm Reply
    Jaime

    Yes, I too agree so much with your thoughts on this post. I found myself feeling worse sometimes after checking my FB; unconsciously comparing myself, wasting what started as 5 minutes and eventually ballooned into much more time…you get the picture.
    I deactivated my account and now only check my very favorite blogs (yours included!!) and emails once per day. I’ve enjoyed my detox and regained precious time in my day.
    Good luck and thanks for the continual inspiration to follow what matters in your own heart!

    2 November 2012 at 9:21 pm Reply
      Jenny
      Jenny

      Yes. A thousand times yes Jaime. I found myself nodding to everything in agreement. Jeff would “feel” my discontent after wasting 20 minutes on FB. He is the happiest with my decisions.
      I’m working on setting a timer on blog reading as well. That’s my project for this week. Just want to be a wise steward of my time.

      4 November 2012 at 9:42 pm Reply
    Tracy

    Awesome post! I went on a women’s retreat with my church this past May and over the course of the weekend listened to four wonderful speakers. During one of the speakers I absolutely felt God telling me to deactivate my FB account (the speaker was not talking about FB but just about women trying to top each other and show others how great their lives are rather than helping each other and being vulnerable with one another which is really what God intended for us). Well I will admit at first I was almost bargaining with God, like I’ll cut back or I’ll delete people that are more acquaintances than friends, but after a few days I knew I had to do what God was asking me because he was telling me this out of love and to make my life better. Well it was a true blessing and while I certainly do miss out on some family news and cute pictures, the improvement it has made to my family and life overall is much more important. I’m still growing, but I’m much better at “being in the moment” now than I was when I was mindlessly checking FB too often.
    So I just wanted to offer encouragement and say I’m really excited to see what God is doing in your life. I know as a blog reader I only see a glimpse but even from that glimpse I can tell you are listening to God more and your perspective is changing in a very good way.
    God Bless :)
    Tracy

    4 November 2012 at 6:49 pm Reply
    Jenny
    Jenny

    Thanks Tracy. Your response was a timely answer to prayer. I asked God specifically for some encouragement today as I honestly found myself a bit lonely through this transition. Thank you for your encouragement. You and God knew just what I needed.
    No doubt this is the path I am supposed to be on.

    4 November 2012 at 9:43 pm Reply
    Lynn D

    I’m in the midst of a 21 day Facebook fast. Feel like I have spent more time on FB than with my family as well. I am hoping it will be enough, but it may have to last much longer. Real reality instead of virtual. Being present and developing real friendships instead of fooling myself about my 450 closest friends…really? Praying for all of us as we develop real communities, friendships and use our time wisely.
    Thanks for your post.

    4 November 2012 at 11:00 pm Reply
    cathy stolze

    Jenny,
    I can just imagine us in the support group meetings now, “liking” everything they say! HAHAHA We would be whispering, why don’t they have a “love” button? Then when our attention started to drift we would ask each other, “hey, you got any chocolate?” Gimmmmeee that connection fix!!! I am absolutely positive God has a sense of humor! He’s not finished with us yet. : )

    5 November 2012 at 9:46 pm Reply
    cathy stolze

    oops, replied in the wrong place, see I’m a mess. : 0 I’m over my time limit. I’m outta here…. haha

    5 November 2012 at 9:48 pm Reply
    Melissa

    This post is really touching.

    I am completely addicted to being connected. Not in the whole need to check my Facebook feed every second kind of way but I definitely have to reply to an email I receive as quickly as I can, and I spend a lot more time on Pinterest on my phone while my son is playing next to me. I need to get down and play with him more often.

    This was a good kick in the butt, I need to make some changes. Thank you.

    8 November 2012 at 10:56 am Reply
    Melissa

    This post comes at a time when I’m feeling the same. Not so much with Facebook for me, but I still seem to find plenty to waste my time on by just visiting blogs, checking my email, etc! I’ve decided it’s time to go back to my “no computer mornings!” The last time I did that, I found my day went so much better! What I choose to do in the mornings definitely seems to set the tone for the day!
    Thanks for providing a little nudge of encouragement to recommit to real life! :)
    Hugs!

    8 November 2012 at 11:09 am Reply
    Amy

    So much of what you said has been on my heart for many months. I feel like God told me to fast from FB a long time ago … and I have been ignoring Him. You are another way He is encouraging me to step out and let go and live life to the fullest. Thank you :)

    8 November 2012 at 11:23 am Reply
    Janet White

    My husband and I did a fast of all media for advent and spent that time on media finding ways to give – to each other, prayers to God, etc. AMAZING what a media fast can do. At the end of it, we pulled the plug on our dish subscription and have never looked back.

    I get my news by following Reuters on Twitter now – and a couple of news sites I may check once a week or so. This last political season went by as hardly a blip because living this life – not the one in the box – is at the core. I knew who I would vote for because I know what I believe and which candidate comes closest. Why let the noise enter in? Drama. It’s overrated.

    I do check social sites, but I look at it like breathing. Breathe in the world, then breathe out a creation. Build something. Do. Breathe in too much and you hyperventilate.

    8 November 2012 at 12:04 pm Reply
    Kendra

    I have been constantly thinking about the money I have wasted this year. But then this got me
    “What difference could I have made this past year with the time that I wasted? What more could I have done or been?” So convicting. Forgive me if you addressed this in the above comments (I’ll go read if I have time before the timer goes off) but are getting rid of all social media? Twitter (I’m just learning that one)? Instagram? Pinterest (not really Social Media)?

    8 November 2012 at 3:56 pm Reply
    Amy Papale

    Beautifully written! This is so true and I am going to be more diligent about how I use my time. Although I just officially started Facebook this past summer, I can see how truly addicting it can be. Thank you for your heartfelt honesty, it is a breath of fresh air!

    13 November 2012 at 7:49 am Reply
    Susie Davis

    I love your honest, brave post.
    Yay, Jenny.
    Yay, God. :)

    15 November 2012 at 5:57 am Reply

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