“Don’t worry, you can always have another child.” – said the neighbor to a young 22 year old who just miscarried her first child.
“Don’t worry, there are so many other fish in the sea. You just have to get back up on the horse.” – said the bible study leader to the 25 year old single mom whose husband left her for another woman.
“Don’t worry dear. God never gives you more than you can handle. You must be one of the strongest people in His eyes.” - said an observer to a 38 year old mom of 4 who had been served some heavy challenges as of late.
You know those phrases.
We have all been guilty of using them at some point in our journey.
I’m calling for a moratorium on phrases that only bring comfort to the messenger. I suppose it’s this inherent need for us to say something to our friends and acquaintances who are going through difficult times. Unfortunately, our words sometimes cause more pain than if we just were silent and offered a loving glance or hug. I know this as I’ve been guilty of using some of these phrases and have been on the receiving end of them more than once.
These words are often said with the best intentions but cause the recipient to question if their grief is appropriate, warranted, or worse, if they have done something to deserve the pain that life naturally brings to our doorsteps.
“God never gives you more than you can handle.”
I’m calling hogwash on this one. I’ve heard this phrase uttered a million times with the most syrup sweet of intentions. I’ve even seen this cross stitched and hanging above an elder’s fireplace mantel. And yes, I realize this is biblical. I just think it has been twisted into a cute catch phrase instead of being used in the context God meant for it to be delivered.
The past several months have been full of life and the joys and challenges that it brings with it. Transitions, heart break, and joy that can only come from answered prayers from Him.
During my break from writing on this blog I have grown. And with growth, comes molding, changing, challenging the purpose to it, shaking my fists, growing pains, acceptance, and finally gratitude.
I have really embraced 2 things.
First, God often gives me more than I can handle. I was made in His image and to trust in Him. However, I am a stubborn soul and fiercely independent and often think I can do it all. I was reminded gently and harshly this summer that I desperately need the comfort and counsel that can only come from Him. It surely can’t be fulfilled by a cute e-card phrase or quote on Pinterest or Facebook.
I came to God completely empty and void of energy and He welcomed me. I completely felt a sense of Him saying be quiet and be still.
I know you write Jenny, but now I want you to be silent.
Second, God is really redefining my definition of Full. This could very well be my word for 2013. My blog was designed to remind me to live my life to the fullest and accomplish my life list that was formed when I had cancer. And I love my life list. But lately, I feel God saying that those small, ordinary moments in life fill me up as much as the big items like dancing in Washington D.C.
I still plan on being intentional about living my life. But I’m realizing while checking items off my life list might be the width of my life, the height of living a full life might be playing an intense game of UNO cards with my 3 year old daughter, teaching my new high school freshman the joys of highlighters (from a nerdy perspective), or throwing the football around with my 10 year old son.
Thank you for allowing me a quick hiatus from this blog. My precious family is getting settled into our new home and have embarked on many new adventures that I can’t wait to share with you. We have no kitchen table or couch, but I have a project life table and a cupcake pan that is ready to be christened in our new kitchen.
And speaking of living life to the fullest, I love how Ben was completely uninhibited. I wish this childlike joy and energy could be bottled.
Glad to be back. I’ve missed you.
Blessings sweet friends – JennyTweet