I knew this week was going to be very light on our family and life list activity schedule with Jeff having surgery. This stillness has lead to more reflection time.
I said earlier this week reflection is a good, healthy thing. Reflection can also be exhausting and convicting as well.
It all started with my magical day last week and then followed by my wacky dream from Monday. I always say things happen in threes and today rounded out the reflection trifecta.
I have been feeling impatient in regards to our planning for this summer. With so many balls up in the air (moving out of our house, Rebecca’s high school orientation, our jobs, rapidly rising gas prices, Jeff’s surgery, swimming schedules, etc), it’s been hard to precisely plan very much.
So late yesterday afternoon within one hour I heard these things:
Jeff: “So I might not be able to travel as long this summer due to adding estate planning to my business. I’m so excited about the possibilities.”
Rebecca: “Mom, I really want to go to Wyldlife camp. All of my friends are going. Please tell me I’m not going to miss it.”
Ben: “Can I play in the Cal Ripken All Star baseball tournament this summer if I make it?”
Emily: “Mom, I got a flyer in the mail about a swim camp. Can I go?”
I’m embarrassed to admit it, but all I heard was “blah, blah, blah….we are ruining your plans”.
I told Jeff how I was feeling today and his response was, “We will make it happen if it’s remotely possible. I want that for you and for our family. But plans sometimes have to be altered – it doesn’t mean it’s a bad plan, just that it’s a different plan.” He was right but I still had a determined, inflexible attitude in my mind about our summer plans. Kind of like a 2 year old crossing her arms in protest because she didn’t get both vanilla AND chocolate ice cream. As I said, it wasn’t pretty what was going on inside of my mind.
So I went to pick up the girls from swim practice as Jeff was busy with his date with a bag of frozen peas. Emily got in the truck first. I asked her how swim practice went and she said “It was fantastic, but.” “But what?” I replied. “Well Coach Mo said that,” and then her voice started to crack. Then little tears streamed down her face.