Living life intentionally with a grateful heart despite my circumstances.
I was challenged by a friend to come up with my mantra in 10 words or less. This is what I came up with. Leave it to my verbose nature to use all 10 of them. In researching a little bit about the words intentional and grateful, I came across the word joyful.
Joy and happy are often used interchangeably but are very different in meaning. (more…)
TweetA couple of months ago I received a kind note from Stacy Clark telling me about her best friend Andrea who was bravely fighting liver cancer. Stacy was broken hearted as she had just received the news that Andrea’s cancer had spread to her lungs. Stacy asked if I had any advice for her as a friend and if I could share any words with Andrea on her Facebook update page.
Jeff and I joined her update page and committed to praying for Andrea and her family. Andrea’s love for her family was evident from the start. Andrea loved her husband Dave and her two young sons, Gino and Rocco. (more…)
I had the opportunity to spend five days on the coast of Oregon for Your Story Retreat which was a gift from Jeff for my 38th birthday. I went with no other intention other than to enjoy myself and make connections. I came away with so much more.
I wore jeans, long sleeve t-shirts, and sweaters. A much needed break from the Phoenix heat. I had time for self reflection with a reinforced belief that I am responsible for my choices and my story. I loved hearing the sound of the ocean as I wrote in my journal. (more…)
TweetSamantha,
The next time I see you, you will be three. That thought crossed my mind as I kissed your sleeping head and rosy cheeks before I left the house to travel to Oregon. You will be three years old. How did that happen?
The next time I see you, will your chubby feet and toes be bigger? It would be impossible for them to be more delicious than they were when you were two, right? (more…)
I’m still in Oregon at Your Story Retreat and digging deep into the stories I want to tell. The stories are pouring out which is interesting as I felt as if I had nothing to say over the past month. At least not the easy stories.
But here’s the catch with me. I want real. Real writing. Real friends. Real relationships. Real everything. I’m at the point in my life that I’m in a good place.
Yes, there are things I want to change and improve on. Yes, there are things that I want to learn, do, and grow with. And yes, I still long for a house. But I’m starting to love where I am at in the present more than ever. I’m not waiting for tomorrow. I’m not waiting to be a size 4. I’m not waiting for when I have a new home. I’m not waiting until that person calls me to go to the movies. I’m choosing to love myself and my present just as it is while working on what needs to be changed.
Here’s an exercise that I had to write this morning. My first draft. I will probably edit, add, subtract – but I wanted you to see my first draft. Perhaps I’m sharing too much, but again… I’m promising you real. My heart just as it is.
Please know that I’m truly in a great place and in no need of rescue. That’s the thing about life. The good, the bad, the ugly, and then the moving forward. It’s all necessary and it’s all good. Life is good.
Outside my hair has thinned and is often found on my pillow or broad shoulders. Signs of recovery and aging.
Inside I’m more alive than I’ve ever been.
Outside I see the reddened scars and cellulite streaks from years of surgery, chemotherapy, and steroids.
Inside I feel luscious and eternally delicious from one simple glance from Jeff.
Outside I see acquaintances who are shallow, self consumed, and too busy for relationships. I smile and bake them cupcakes anyways.
Inside I’m thirsty for substance. I’m desperate for connection with real women who want to share life, laughter, and struggle together.
Outside I’ve been married and loved two men.
Inside I’ve been only truly loved and made love to by one man. Praising God that round two of sex doesn’t only exist on General Hospital as I thought during my first marriage.
Outside I’m sick of the surface shit.
Inside I’m yearning for depth and revelation.
Outside I’m wearing comfortable denim in a size 14.
Inside I still feel like that national level swimmer with lean legs, strong shoulders, and one who walked with a confident stride. I’m finally confident that my inside is going to merge with my outside once again in the near future.
Outside I’m living life intentionally with a grateful spirit.
Inside I’m living life intentionally with a grateful spirit.
I suppose I’m on the right track.
Blessings sweet friends – Jenny
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TweetRight now I am soaking up the sun, cool breeze, and the beautiful Pacific Northwest Coast in Gearhart, Oregon at the My Story Retreat. This retreat is hosted by Liz, Kelly, and Ali and I am about to internally combust from the gratefulness that has filled my soul in just over 24 hours.
In the past month, I have known of 4 friends and acquaintances who have tragically died. All of them are younger than me, left spouses, and a total of 12 children. Two died from disease and two have died from horrific accidents. All of their losses are rocking me to the core. Once again, I am reminded that life is short and I have a responsibility to live life with intention and a grateful heart despite my circumstances. I can’t disrespect those that don’t have that opportunity.
Today I am grateful for the life that I have been given, my story up to this point, and my story that is left to be told.
Today I am grateful for my friend Ali. Sharing, hugging, and experiencing life and joys together in person is a thousand times better than direct messaging with each other. Excited to meet someone who has BIG plans for her life, just like me. And the twinkle in her eye as she approaches a new adventure just makes me smile. (more…)
You know when I have a long post, that it often includes a story and something I am passionate about. And this post fits into that precise category. I believe wholeheartedly that the only truly original things anymore are people and their stories…
When I met Jeff he was graduating from college and playing professional golf. Jeff played golf 4 to 8 hours a day. He would often jump in with other men and women who had planned tee times. He would come home and I would ask, “Did you play with anyone nice today? What were their names? What do they do?”
Jeff would look at me with this blank stare and say, “I have no idea. I was just playing golf.” Jeff could tell me what kind of swing adjustments they needed or could tell me the clubs and balls they used, but couldn’t tell me any details to save his life. I was driven a little mad at times because I yearned for the details and the stories. (more…)
TweetI’ve been pretty quiet on the blog front. I’ve been really enjoying having my kids home for the summer. I’ve been enjoying picnics, watermelon, sunscreen, visits to the water park, and taking lots of pictures. When I look through the lens of my camera, I see life with different eyes. I see what I am, and should be grateful for and I see stories being lived and told.
This past month, I’ve probably told my kids 50+ stories from when I was a child and young adult and I find them asking for more. They now have started asking Jeff about his childhood as well. It has warmed my heart more than words can express.
Here are my pictures from this past month. I’m looking forward to seeing your stories through your lens. Remember this isn’t a photo critique and any type of camera is welcome. The important thing is to always tell your story, no matter how ordinary or extraordinary you view your life and/or circumstances. I believe there is a bit of magic in each of our lives.
Something you can’t live without.
(more…)
I was introduced to The Family Dinner book last year by my sister and Ali. I devoured the book – literally inhaled it in my first sitting. I have since probably read it 5 times. I’m passionate about spending time with my children and husband, knowing what is going on in their lives, and food. So this book was right up my alley.
I worked tirelessly trying to figure out a regular dinnertime schedule but became frustrated. Beyond frustrated. Then finally the guilt settled in and I felt like the worst mother in the world. You see, our schedule is different due to 2 things, my work schedule and the kid’s swimming/baseball schedules. (more…)
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