How many times a day do you say the word, “No!”?

How many times a day do you hear the word, “No!”?

I have been flooded with emails from people seeking advice on writing their life lists or trying to get back on the road to living a passion filled, intentional life.

I’ve heard many reasons:

I no longer know what excites me.

I’m terrified of my dream not coming true. If I don’t do anything, at least I still have my dream inside my head. No one can say, “No” if I don’t speak my dream out loud and it just stays inside my head.

I could relate to each of those comments. As I have replied to these emails, I have spent a lot of time reflecting on why my journey is working for me at this stage in my life. Why is it working for me now at 38 years old? Why did it not work for me right after my cancer treatment 7 years ago?

I started writing down everything I thought made it finally click for me. And after seeing the 20+ reasons I came up with, I think they all relate back to one simple statement…
 

 I said, “Yes” to all of the possibilities.

 
I put away all fear, doubts, and obstacles and said, “Yes! I will find a way.” There is tremendous power and possibilities in the word, “Yes”.
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When I started this blog, I had lost a part of my identity. I was consumed with full time work and being Jeff’s wife. I was referred to as Rebecca’s mom for almost 2 years by one lady at our school, before I finally said, “You can call me Jenny.” I’m sure every wife and mom can relate to this at some point in their journey. I had to sit down and remind myself what I liked and what excited me that wasn’t related to Jeff or the kids.

But in my planning for 2012, I went to the opposite extreme of planning without taking into consideration what the dreams of the other 5 people in my family wanted. Don’t get me wrong, most of my items include them, but looking back I don’t know if I really asked them.

I’m thrilled to be Jeff’s wife and a mom to Rebecca, Ben, Emily, and Samantha. I want to see my dreams come true, but I also want to encourage Jeff and the kids to chase their dreams as well. I want to make sure they see that I seek to find that balance between holding onto my self identity and my cherished roles as their wife and mom.

In making my life list, we have started talking a lot more about dreams in our house. And this weekend at their big 3 day swim meet, we have been talking about our dreams. When we started sharing, I found myself a tad shell shocked. I learned so much in just getting Jeff and the kids to tell me 5 life list items. Just 5.

I found out that Jeff misses golf and regrets not trying to pursue professional golf longer. I learned that Rebecca wants to meet Foster the People. I had no clue who this group was, let alone that she liked them enough for them to be #1 on her life list. Emily wants to learn how to play lacrosse, Ben wants to go whale watching in Hawaii, and to no surprise, Miss Samantha wants to go see Mickey Mouse again.

Here are their lists…
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I’m not good at slowing down. I just go. That is where Jeff is so good for me. He is really good at relaxing and just being. When we first got married, I was envious of him just being able to relax when the house was out of order or the to do list was 2 pages long. Jeff would say, “Please stop cleaning, sit down, and just be with me. You need to stop and relax.” I would like to say that I have that perfected, but I am still a work in progress.

Yesterday was an incredibly busy day at work. And Monday was one of the busiest of my careers in 17 years. So my to do list has piled up and I came home from work and was feeling behind and overwhelmed. I commented to Jeff how tired I was and got into bed at 7:15 and and decided to read something positive before I crashed early. I read Ali’s Creative Lifts #7. I found myself nodding my head and then this sentence spoke to me…

“I’ve come to the conclusion that the reflection piece is just as essential as the photographing or the writing because it’s through the reflecting that I really learn.” Yes, Ali. Yes.

Then I spent 30 minutes just looking through my blog of my adventure since last May. I smiled, giggled, and shed a few tears. I fell asleep so grateful for my journey so far and felt so much different than I had just an hour prior. I am living a full and abundant life.

Reflecting allowed me to see this…

I shared my heart this morning with Jeff and told him what my favorite posts were on my blog as I was able to reread some posts from several months ago. And then he shared his favorite 5. Not surprising, the Jenny Goes to Washington Post was our favorite, but we differed on all the others.

My top 5 are:

“That’s a Poor Choice!”

Dear Emily

22 Things You Should Know About Me

Jenny and Jane

Jeff’s story

Jeff really likes these 5 (can you tell he likes the “Lesson Learned” series?):

Champions expect to fail

Parent of a Bench Child

Public Praise Private Criticism

Unorthodox Parenting Advice

I wish I had a picture of

Reflecting also allowed me to see how many wonderful friends I’ve made in the blog world. I’ve added to my blog roll and am adding a blog roll page shortly (along with a community life list page) to introduce you to all of my favorite friends and people who inspire me. And thank you dear friends for taking the time to read about my journey and for leaving comments. I treasure them.

What is your favorite post that I’ve written?

Blessings sweet friends – Jenny

If you are new to my site, welcome! Like what you see? I would love for you follow along on this crazy adventure of mine by subscribing to my blog and joining me on facebook, twitter, and pinterest.

Samantha had tubes inserted into her ears this morning after multiple infections and antibiotics. She was out of surgery in 11 minutes and we were at home in record speed. So I spent a lot of time scratching her back, watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and playing with PlayDoh. During the fifth episode of the same Mickey episode, my mind started to wander. The calm and quiet house allowed me to spend time thinking of what is working and what needs work.

I have added a lot to my life over the past couple of months and I couldn’t be more thrilled. But one issue kept coming to the forefront of my mind… lack of consistent, self discipline. I’ve started swimming with the Master’s team and piano lessons. I’ve been trying to lose weight. Compared to 6 months ago, I’m doing great. But I’m not meeting my goals due to lack of consistent, self-discipline. Let’s face it, an excuse can always be rationalized.

So I need a simple way to keep me on track of my goals and values. I NEED to make these 5 things a habit for the next 30 days. I don’t always want to be this strict, as I like to live with grace and moderation. However, for the next 30 days I need self discipline more. I need some good old fashioned healthy habits that inhibit me from using any excuse.

I’m speaking these things out loud, as it will help keep me accountable.

5 daily habits in 30 days:

1. Read the bible. Not every other day, but everyday. I really enjoy this, but I just need to be more consistent, instead of feeling like I’m playing catch up.

2. Exercise for 1 hour . Just move. Walk, run, swim. Variety will be key for me. If at 9 pm I haven’t exercised, then I’m going to get on my elliptical machine and just do it. I have never exercised and later regretted it. Never.

3. Play the piano for 30 minutes. Not every 2-3 days for 2 hours, but everyday. It’s no secret. If I want to really learn how to play and school those little kids at the recital, then I need to practice.

4. Cook homemade meals every night. I’m tired of eating out. I’m tired of eating crappy foods that end up making me tired. I was so good until our vacation. Not a surprise, but as soon as I allowed processed sugar back into my life, I started getting headaches and needing occasional naps due to fatigue. I have too much to do in my life than to waste it napping because of sugar induced comas.

I was inspired by this article from Nicole. I’m taking inspiration from that and making a 30 day menu. I will gladly share my recipes and will keep track of everything as I go.

5. Write one letter everyday. No email, facebook, or twitter messages. Old fashioned letters with those things sticky things that attach to the top right corners. I think they are called stamps.

I write my kids letters every week and I’ve seen how much joy those have brought. But now I need to write to others – family, friends, and people who have inspired me.

I need to remember this quote:
 

“The pain of self-discipline will never be as great as the pain of regret.”

Yes.

Blessings sweet friends – Jenny

If you are new to my site, welcome! Like what you see? I would love for you follow along on this crazy adventure of mine by subscribing to my blog and joining me on facebook, twitter, and pinterest.

This is Jeff, hijacking Jenny’s blog again. I have been reading various comments, tweets, and emails from readers about not being ready to start a life list or not knowing how to start. Jenny is at work today so I decided to step in.

Today, we are going to create a kick-$#@ life list together.

In the comments, list ONE thing that you want to do before you die.

Could be big, could be small. Just put it down in writing and let’s encourage and inspire each other with ideas that we may never have even thought of including.

Jenny and I discussed the life list idea with Becca, Ben and Emily last night so I will start with mine and theirs in the first comment. Please pass this on and participate. I know that some of these could make it on to Jenny’s life list.

Thanks and have a great day!

-Jeff

This week is the final installment of my writing your life list series. If you are new to this series you will want to go back and read the first 3 parts:
 
Part I – Discover what makes you tick & finding your identity (what you value, what excites you, and what influences you) – read here
 
Part II – Determine your goods (goals) & greats (dreams) – read here
 
Part III – Writing your life list using 10 writing prompts to get you started – read here

If you participated in Parts I-III, you should have at least 10 items on your life list. And now comes the hard part…. start. That’s right, just start. The key to starting is very simple. You must plan and then have the guts to just take action.

What do you have to lose? You already know you are worthy of your dreams. No matter what you have done, you are worthy. You don’t have to wait for anything… the perfect marriage, body, finances, etc. You will never get to that point, so again, just start.
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